Resolve to Play
January 22, 2004

Well, here it is almost the end of January, and probably the last thing you want
to hear us talking about is New Year's resolutions. In fact, if you're like many people, the resolutions you so ardently made on December 31 are now forgotten, or remembered guiltily.

One of the reasons, according to a variety of people we interviewed from psychologists to gym managers (both of whom see a boom in their business around New Year's), is that people set unrealistic expectations for themselves. The resolutions that they set are grandiose, such as "I will work out every day," and ultimately unrealistic. If you've never worked out, or do so intermittently, you're setting yourself up to fail, and, particularly when it comes to exercise, that perceived failure becomes dispiriting so people give up…until New Year's comes around again.

The other problem with resolutions is that because they are often non-specific, it becomes very difficult to put them into operation. One of the family-oriented resolutions we heard a lot at the turn of the year was that parents were going to spend more time with their children. Following up with these parents in the last couple of weeks, the reality of getting back into the swing of things and pressures of the new year and so forth have made that resolution seem "impossible." And the parents feel more guilty than ever.

This is no fun at all.

Particularly because what we're talking about is having fun.

The trick about resolutions is that they don't have to be huge in order to work. We talk with many people who think that if they don't aim high they'll never reach their goals. Aiming high is a great thing and healthy, but without a plan to get from Point A to Point B, a resolution never moves further than being a good idea.

When it comes to play, and especially time with kids, it all starts with planning. Some parents we talk to resist planning play time, thinking that planning fun is antithetical to the spontaneous nature of play. The reality in our culture today, though, is that without planning that time won't happen. If, for example, you set aside every Thursday evening from after dinner to bedtime just to do something fun with your family and kids, you can
be as spontaneous as you like within that time. The trick is getting that time on the calendar and making sure it sticks. Kids today have as busy schedules as adults do, so finding that time may take some planning, but once you do, you have to hold it as sacrosanct—as important as any business meeting or other obligation you have.

Hasbro, for example, led the way several years ago with its "Family Game Night" initiative, and while that was a brilliant advertisement for their games, it also worked. We've talked to many families around the country who have instituted that event and for whom it's a high point of the week. They may not always be playing Hasbro games (we know of several families who bought Cranium, for example, to add to their game chests as a result of starting "Family Game Night"), but the brilliance of that campaign is that it gave people an idea of how to accomplish something that they wanted to do within the context of their busy lives.

You needn't do exactly this, but whatever you choose, you want to set it up to succeed. That means picking manageable times, activities that everyone who is participating can share equally and something that you'll want to do again. One of the risks many people face in doing something like this is that they do a first week or two that is so big—a full day's activities, a trip—that it's hard to integrate into their lives on a regular basis. Remember, if you're going to create changes
in your life, the best way to do it is incrementally. Any coach will tell you that if you want to run a marathon, you need to start with many short runs and work your way up. Our culture is very results focused, but more often than not, any successful result grows out of steady process. And the process is
what's the most fun anyway.

Oh, and this isn't something you're doing "just for the kids." Play is something that has lifelong benefits for anyone for reducing stress, focusing creativity and helping one gain perspective on whatever is going on. Adults need open-ended play as much as kids to—to free their minds, facilitate relaxation and re-
energize. When we have run creative workshops for companies in the past, we generally find that open-ended activities with no proscribed outcome and no pressure on accomplishment or performance, can actually jumpstart the creative process. Plus, it's fun.

In fact, if we could suggest any resolution for 2004 at this late date, it would be to encourage every individual to spend thirty minutes a day on something that's just plain fun. It's not about the result, it's not about expectations, it's just about something that's for sheer entertainment. Not everyone can have video game systems in their offices like we do at The Toy Guy headquarters, but we find that even ten minutes on a fun video game in the middle of a hectic day can be revitalizing.

And who knows where this will take you. One woman we encouraged to put more play in her life decided she liked it so much that she quit her corporate job to pursue her passion for working with the elderly, creating activity programs for them and helping them to play more. She's happier than at any previous time in her career and feels that she's really making a difference for people, while having a wonderful time herself. And, she says, if she'd never allowed herself to play, she might never have found a new path.

But, then, that's always been the power of play—to open up new worlds of possibility for you.

So go have some fun.